How to Agree to Disagree
By eHow Relationships & Family Editor
Rate: (2 Ratings)
Discussions about religion, politics, abortion, same-sex marriage and other hot button issues can be tricky. Instead of getting heated and arguing until you are blue in the face, keep telling yourself to agree to disagree on certain topics. This way you can have lively debates without letting them get personal.
Be a good sport. In an argument or debate, keep a friendly mind-set. Though some issues may be incredibly important to you, like your religious beliefs, understand that everyone has the right to their own opinion. If everyone believed the same thing life would get boring.
Step2
Stay calm in the face of a debate. Agree to disagree with someone who is able to intelligently converse with you about tough subjects. Keep your cool and simply swap ideas with this person instead of letting it get ugly.
Step3
Use honesty above all. People will tend to throw up their hands and plead that there is no winning or losing the argument when they have clearly lost. This tends to happen to those who have not fully researched or thought out their opinion on the subject. If you find yourself in a situation like this, simply be honest with the other person and let them know you have to do some research before continuing.
Step4
Respect the other person. In a debate, friendly or otherwise, if the person states that you should just agree to disagree, accept it—even if you think they are saying so to avoid admitting defeat.
Step5
Understand that you can't change a mind that does not want to change. Some people will be open to new ways of thinking, and others are steadfast in their beliefs and cling to them as though their lives depended on it. Take this fact to heart, and it will help you be a better debater.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
How to Agree to Disagree
Why Sleeping is (Almost) More Important Than Breathing
Why Sleeping is (Almost) More Important Than Breathing
Posted Mon, Apr 21, 2008, 11:29 am PDT
66% of users found this article helpful.
Post a Comment View All 426 Comments I used to pull all-nighters back in college, forcing myself to stay awake to cram for an exam or finish a paper on art history, my major. I did it because I thought it would help me get ahead, but in the end it always set me back—I wound up tired, cranky and unproductive the next day.
Even though I've grown up (and wisened up) since then, I still have trouble convincing myself to crawl into bed at night: I keep a running tally of all the things I haven't crossed off my to-do list—reading manuscripts, prepping for a TV appearance, even laundry! And I'm always tempted to stay up just a bit longer to get everything done before morning.
So what stops me from burning the midnight oil? Not only has personal experience proved that I'll be more stressed (not to mention less chipper) when I'm sleep-deprived, but studies suggest that not getting adequate zzz's can increase your risk for heart disease and depression, and even cause weight gain (ever found yourself heading to the fridge or the vending machine when you're tired? I have!).
Try these tips to help relax before you hit the sack:
Unplug
Avoid having long conversations on your cell phone before bed: Researchers at Wayne State University in Detroit found that people who were exposed to the slight radiation that emanates from cell phones took longer to fall asleep and spent less time in the deep stages of slumber.
Make Your Bedroom a Haven
Draw the blinds and turn on a fan or a soothing CD of nature noises to block out distracting sounds. Swapping ordinary bedroom bulbs for yellow ones (GE makes a 25-watt version sold at drugstores) can help you feel more tranquil as you're getting ready to nod off. Consider treating yourself to a cozy new comforter or putting flowers on your nightstand so that being in your bedroom—and sleeping!—becomes something you look forward to.
Say Thanks
Once you're under the covers, take two minutes to reflect on the things you're grateful for. Studies show that practicing grateful thinking makes people more optimistic. And going to sleep with happy thoughts will help you sleep more soundly.
Share your favorite relaxing bedtime rituals on SELF's Trade Happiness Tips forum.
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Feel Fuller With More Sleep
Feel Fuller With More Sleep
Posted Mon, Jun 16, 2008, 4:45 pm PDT
87% of users found this article helpful.
Post a Comment View All 51 Comments Like you, I suspect, I have a to-do list that runneth over. To fit in exercise, plus all my job responsibilities and family time, I used to steal from sleep—staying up too late, then dragging myself to the gym at 6 a.m. Big mistake! So my first piece of advice on the path to your best body is to sleep!
Do you like that? Thought you might. Don't believe me? Consider this:
A study in the Annals of Internal Medicine found that clocking too few zzz's may increase your appetite, which is what used to happen to me. I would replace the calories burned during a spinning class or run (and then some) because I felt depleted. People who log a solid eight hours, on the other hand, tend to weigh less. Ample shut-eye encourages your body to produce more of the fullness hormone leptin and less of the hunger hormone ghrelin, plus it helps ease anxiety and depression, both of which can trigger emotional eating.
You may also avoid injury. Skimp on sleep, and you're more prone to clumsiness, which could mean a crash. A tired brain processes information more slowly, stalling reaction time so that even simple movements (pedaling a bicycle, swinging a tennis racket) can feel awkward. A study in Occupational & Environmental Medicine tested people on everything from coordination to concentration and found that those who got too little rest scored, on average, the same or lower than those with a blood-alcohol level of 0.05.
Rest assured, workouts (like SELF's 30-day ab makeover program) will be more effective after a good night's sleep.
Sleep Your Way Slim
Sleep Your Way Slim
Posted Tue, Jul 22, 2008, 5:36 pm PDT
85% of users found this article helpful.
Post a Comment View All 50 Comments I know what you're thinking: How can I possibly lose weight by lying down? Believe me, as the type of person who likes to squeeze the most out of every second of each day, I was skeptical, too. But the research that supports the connection between getting a good night's sleep and fitting into your favorite jeans is pretty convincing.
In a study of more than 68,000 women, those who slept seven hours a night weighed 5.5 pounds less than women who slept five hours or less. Turns out, ample shut-eye encourages your body to produce more of the fullness hormone leptin and less of the hunger hormone ghrelin. Plus, catching zzz's helps curb anxiety and depression, both of which can be a tripwire for emotional eating. Insufficient rest can even compromise moral judgment, according to the journal Sleep.
Now, aiming to hit the sack early and actually doing it are two different things. There are always a million and one excuses to stay awake (I tend to read way past my bedtime). Try these tips to help you catch up on your zzzzzz's.
Instead of trying to adhere to a strict lights-out policy every night, aim to get in bed early at least one night per week.
Ease yourself into your slumber session with a bath.
Eating a carb-based mini-meal of no more than 200 calories 45 minutes before drifting off can raise serotonin levels, helping you relax and sleep well. Try a whole-wheat English muffin with a tablespoon of honey or a cup of instant oatmeal with 1/4 cup of chopped apple.
Turn in earlier and look forward to sweet dreams (of a fitter, more fabulous you, of course!)
For more quick, easy weight loss tips and tools, join the Self Diet Club.
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Tips to Transform Your Body Faster
Tips to Transform Your Body Faster
Posted Thu, Jun 19, 2008, 5:11 pm PDT
74% of users found this article helpful.
Post a Comment View All 224 Comments There are a few things that you can do besides eating well and exercising that will expedite your physical transformation:
1. Stay positive
Believe that transformation is possible even when you haven’t seen the changes that you want yet. I am sure that you can site many examples in your life where you didn’t expect something to happen and then whoa, there it was. If you don’t have enough evidence of your own, look around you. Do you know someone who thought they’d never get the job, meet that special person, or lose the weight, and then they did? Haven’t you read amazing stories about people overcoming obstacles and creating tremendous transformation in their lives, many against great odds? These are just people too, like you and me; anyone can overcome.
There is one thing that you can be sure of in life, and that is change. Make sure yours happens quickly, and in the way you want, by staying positive and then taking the steps that you know you should take.
2. Stay in the moment
If you think about your end results, the work becomes overwhelming. Just do what you know you can do today, and when tomorrow becomes today, you’ll deal with that.
3. Keep your expectations low
Don’t expect too much too soon, you’ll only get discouraged. Aiming high is nice to say but truly it is easier to stay positive if you set your sites on realistic, smaller goals.
4. Eliminate temptation
Remove distractions like foods that you don’t want to eat and people who have habits that you are trying to break. Surround yourself with people and materials that mirror the changes that you want for yourself. Hang out with happy, healthy people, read inspiring books, and listen to some great music that motivates you to get moving and take action.
5. Stop using excuses
There are always excuses; I am sure you have heard, or used, them all. When your desire to change becomes greater than your fear of changing, the excuses will go away -- nothing will stop you from becoming the new you. Even though you may not be able to change the underlying reasons why you haven’t yet accomplished your goals, you can start by removing some of the actions and thought processes that encourage you to stay stuck. Enough with the excuses!
Peace and Happy Trails –
Debbie Rocker
http://www.debbierocker.com/
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Lose Weight Without Counting Calories
Lose Weight Without Counting Calories
Posted Wed, Aug 20, 2008, 10:20 am PDT
84% of users found this article helpful.
Post a Comment View All 189 Comments I've never been a big fan of counting calories. In fact, in the past year, I have lost about 30 pounds without counting a single dietary digit. Sure, I know recording everything you put in your mouth can help peel off pounds, but I also know that obsessing over calories makes you more likely to eat lowfat, low-fiber foods that wouldn't satiate a starling.
Instead of crunching numbers, I munched on healthy food to become a weight loss success. If a food lover like me can do it, you can, too! Try these tips:
• Pick up produce. Have at least one fruit and veggie at every meal. On busy days when I know my lunch won't have a smidge of green in it, I have two fruits at breakfast; I toss berries or peaches into my nonfat Greek yogurt and sprinkle it with granola. I love asparagus, green pepper, sun-dried tomatoes, sprouts, endive and more. Fruits and veggies are high in fiber, which staves off hunger. Shoot for nine servings daily. It sounds like a lot, but if you don't have to be a rabbit to reach that goal. Eat a salad at lunch or dinner, and you're there.
• Snack smart. Add protein (such as a stick of lowfat string cheese or Parmesan) to your between-meal bites. Research suggests protein may enhance the effect of leptin, a hormone that reins in appetite. I love hummus and dip veggies into it instead of pita bread or crackers. Protein is also filling and can help curb cravings for chips, cookies and the like.
• Sip more water. Dieters who swapped sugary drinks for water lose weight, but those who gulped the most H20 peeled off the most pounds, according to a study at the meeting of Obesity Society in Boston. Don’t love agua? Try the flavored kind but check the label for sugar content (it should be below 8 grams per serving).
• Map out your meals. A little attention to portions can help you eat less and still stay satisfied. Start by using a salad dish (8 inches in diameter) and divide it into quarters to help keep helpings healthy. Half the plate should get veggies, top another quarter with lean protein (3 to 6 ounces of fish, chicken or tofu) and the last quarter with whole grains (1/2 to 1 cup of brown rice, sweet potatoes or whole wheat pasta).
• Eat every meal. When you wait longer than five hours between bites, your body may release extra cortisol, a hormone that can increase appetite. I call it "hangry." I get hungry and angry: My stomach starts to burn and my brain gets annoyed at every little thing. Then I eat whatever is in front of me, usually a cookie or other sweet, empty-calorie treat. I realize I'm putting out the "hangry" fires, but it is better not to get there in the first place!
For additional tips on eating healthy without hating it (and shedding pounds in the process), check out SELF's Eat Like Me blog, by Cristin Dillon, R.D.
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Water: The Drink for Long Life
Posted Thu, Aug 21, 2008, 6:22 pm PDT
91% of users found this article helpful.
Post a Comment View All 32 Comments Water is vital for good health and a long life. Although you can live for days without food, your survival depends on drinking water. Each and every cell needs water to perform its essential functions. Read on to learn how water factors into your health and longevity plans.
Benefits of a good "drinking habit"
Stay hydrated. On these hot summer days, your body needs to replenish itself with water more than ever. When you become dehydrated, you don't have enough water in your body to carry out normal functions. Even mild dehydration can drain your energy and give you a feeling of fatigue.
Regulate body temperature. For work-out fans, drinking water reduces cardiovascular stress and improves performance. And water reduces body temperature, making the exercise process safer and more effective.
Skin health. Water hydrates and irrigates impurities from the skin, keeping it healthy and glowing.
Nutrient absorption. Water transports essential nutrients, minerals, vitamins, proteins and sugars for assimilation.
Aids in weight loss. If you haven't been drinking enough water, your body has developed a pattern of storing water-which equals extra unwanted pounds. Drink more water to teach your body that it no longer needs to store water. Water is also a natural appetite suppressant.
Flushes wastes and toxins. Water helps us flush our system of the chemicals and toxins that we encounter every day in our modern world: car exhaust, dyed clothing, synthetic, formaldehyde-packed carpets - when you add up the toxins, it becomes dizzying! Your body will process and eliminate some of these hordes of chemicals that enter it. The rest are stored in the liver, lungs, kidneys, fat cells, intestines, blood stream, and skin. Without enough fluids to flush out your system, these accumulated toxins in your body will slow down your organ function, causing premature aging and resulting in chronic illness.
You should be drinking at least 60 ounces of water - about 8 glasses - a day.
To develop a good water-drinking habit, get two large, rigid thermos bottles with a 20-ounce capacity and fill them with water. Take one along with you during the day to drink at work, and drink the other one at home.
Water: You Are What You Drink
Everything that goes down the drain from our lawns, our agricultural fields, or anywhere else in our environment inevitably ends up in our drinking water. The president of the Environmental Working Group, Ken Cook, states that "approximately 45 million Americans in thousands of communities drink water that is polluted with fecal matter, parasites, disease-causing microbes, and pesticides at levels that violate Safe Drinking Water Act standards."
And a recent report showed that pharmaceutical drugs are showing up in tap water across the nation. People taking pharmaceutical drugs pass them through their bodies and into the sewage plants, which remove the usual pollutants - but not drug chemicals from waster water, and some ends up in your drinking water. Even a small amount of drug chemicals and pollutants taken in by your body continuously over a long period of time can trigger genetic changes, cause allergies, or even lead to cancer.
Of the many filtration processes that remove contaminants, the kinds that use activated charcoal is recognized by the EPA as the best available technology for filtering out volatile organic compound (VOCs) and other dangerous chemicals. The most convenient and affordable way to have safe, healthy water for you and your family is to use an in-home water filtration system. To learn about a high-performance filtration system that I recommend, click here.
Health in a Bottle?
Bottled water has gained tremendous popularity, as word about the hazards of tap water is getting out. However, many bottled waters were found to be simply processed water using distillation, reverse osmosis, de-ionization or filtration. So, is bottled water safer than tap water? Tests have discovered that some bottled waters contained more chlorine by-products than surface and ground waters. And the pesticides, herbicides, and pharmaceuticals that are found in household tap water are appearing in bottled water with alarming frequency.
The Natural Resources Defense Council report on the subject concluded that, "there is no assurance that bottled water is any safer than tap water." Throw into that mix that plastic containers contain polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs), which leach into your water. Skip the plastic bottles for storing. Instead store in glass bottles, and for water-on-the-go, get a reusable thermos.
I hope you will take these tips and keep yourself well watered. I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.
-Dr. Mao
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